Sasha Smirnoff: A waiter in the hotel and a would-be actor.
Gordon Miller: A fast-talking, quick-witted producer with big ideas and a very small budget, Gordon Miller is a fly-by-night leader of a penniless theatrical troupe.
Joseph Gribble: The harassed and helpless manager of the White Way Hotel where an indigent theatrical troupe can’t pay their tab.
Harry Binion: A witty stage director who can’t think with his clothes on.
Faker Englund: Gordon Miller’s man Friday, Faker Englund is the idea man and stage manager. He is an expert in dodging hotel bills.
Christine Marlowe: Young and pretty, Christine Marlowe is responsible for finding a backer for Miller’s production.
Leo Davis: A naïve playwright from Oswego, Leo Davis is the author of Miller’s intended production. He is young and inexperienced in the ways of the world.
Hilda Manney: A sweet simple soul, Hilda Manney is Miller’s secretary.
Gregory Wagner: The apoplectic and roaring hotel executive, Gregory Wagner is a red-faced and over-bearing company man who inadvertently becomes a backer of Miller’s play.
Simon Jenkins: Miller’s “angel,” Simon Jenkins is a representative of a money magnate who wants in invest in the play.
Timothy Hogarth: The man from the collection agency, Timothy Hogarth has come to repossess Davis’s typewriter.
Dr. Glass: The harassed hotel doctor who advertises in elevators.