Charlie Conlon: In his mid-thirties and one of a number of extras hired in the filming of a Hollywood movie being shot in rural Ireland, Charlie is the former owner of a failed video store. He has a movie script in his back pocket that he hopes will win some consideration from the movie people. He is relegated to a faceless background role, and his script is never even considered by anyone.
Jake Quinn: One of a number of extras hired in the filming of a Hollywood movie being shot in rural Ireland, Jake has recently returned from a short and very unsuccessful stay in New York. Jake has the notion that he might become a film star. Instead, as an extra, he is relegated to digging turf as a “background bog man.” His attempts at winning the favors of the film's female star by pretending to be a poet don't go much better. He is a cousin of the tragic Sean Harkin.
The actors playing these two roles also portray the rest of the characters in the play. These include:
Simon: The first assistant director on the set, Simon is just trying to get the film shot on time.
Aisling: The third assistant director, Aisling is young, pretty, and anxious to impress those above her, especially Simon and Clem. She has no interest in those beneath her, especially the local extras.
Mickey Riordan: A local in his seventies, Mickey is one of the few surviving extras in The Quiet Man, John Wayne's seminal Hollywood-in-Ireland movie shot in this same region of the country many years ago. As such, he thinks he knows best how the extras should act to keep their jobs and their “forty quid per day.”
Clem: The movie director, Clem is a stuffy Englishman with little or no understanding of the local community.
Sean Harkin: A dreamy, local lad, Sean's dreams are continually dashed until he commits suicide partway through the play.
Fin: Another young local, Fin is Sean's friend.
Caroline Giovanni: The beautiful but flighty American star, Caroline thinks she understands Ireland and its people, but it soon becomes evident that her knowledge and caring are about as real as her poor accent.
John: Caroline's accent coach.
Brother Gerard: A local teacher.
Dave: A Cockney crew member.
Jock Campbell: Caroline's Scottish security man.