**Abby Brewster:**A darling lady in her sixties who poisons elderly men. Abby is the sister of Martha and an aunt to Teddy, Jonathan, and Mortimer.
The Rev. Dr. Harper: Minister and father of Elaine
**Teddy Brewster:**Nephew of Abby and Martha Brewster, Teddy is a man in his forties who thinks that he is Theodore Roosevelt.
**Officer Brophy:**A police officer
Officer Klein: A police officer
**Martha Brewster:**A sweet elderly woman with Victorian charm who poisons elderly men, Martha is the sister of Abby and an aunt to Teddy, Jonathan, and Mortimer.
**Elaine Harper:**An attractive girl in her twenties and Mortimer’s fiancee, Elaine is the daughter of the Rev. Dr. Harper. She is surprisingly wise in the ways of the world for a minister’s daughter.
**Mortimer Brewster:**Nephew of Abby and Martha, Mortimer is a drama critic who is engaged to Elaine. He is a nice man who cares for his aunts.
**Mr. Gibbs:**A man who wishes to rent a room from the Brewster sisters
**Jonathan Brewster:**Nephew of Abby and Martha Brewster, Jonathan is a psychopath who has had plastic surgery and now looks like Boris Karloff.
**Dr. Einstein:**A plastic surgeon and an alcoholic who is in his fifties, Dr. Einstein has changed Jonathan’s face three times.
**Officer O’Hara:**A police officer, O’Hara is a would-be playwright who pesters Mortimer to read his play.
**Lieutenant Roony:**A tough and dominating police officer
**Mr. Witherspoon:**The superintendent of Happy Dale Sanitarium